Getting married at 21 was never something I planned on doing. I always pictured myself being older or more "experienced". I quickly realized after I met Blake that those "experiences" I thought I needed before marriage weren't necessary to have a successful marriage or a happy life. But there are some things I wish I knew before I took the plunge. Here are somethings I'm still learning everyday, that I wish I would've applied before marriage.
1. Its not all sunshine and rainbows. I know this seems obvious but its important to remember that when times get hard its perfectly NORMAL.
2. It's important to communicate your feelings at all times, even if its difficult. Communication is key, even when what you may say isn't all warm and fuzzy, granted this can be tricky because being respectful and kind is a key element in a marriage. Blake and I always say its better to have a momentary disagreement than to keep secrets and feelings bottled up.
3. Make yourself a priority and know yourself fully. This is not to say that you should be selfish in your relationship but the more you take care of yourself and your emotions the better equipped you'll be to love and care for someone else. Ive learned from experience that when I'm neglecting myself I tend to me more irritable and less loving to Blake.
4. Mistakes happen, we all do and say silly things that we wish we didn't and although its hard (especially for me) its super important to cut our partners some slack and I also like to think about how I'd like Blake to respond if I majorly screwed up or said something dumb. Give your partner a break.
5. SOCIAL MEDIA IS FAKE. Just because Sally and Bill seem to always be on a beach vacation in Tahiti doesn't mean they actually are, and it certainly doesn't mean that they have an amazing relationship. Think about this next time you tell your partner they work too much and you never get to go anywhere or do anything fun (this may or may not be a direct personal quote).
6. Remember your relationship is the only one that truly matters. This is so hard to remember when the GNO or Fortnite comes calling, but although it may seem important to cultivate your relationship with others, and it is don't get me wrong, it will always be the most important to nurture the relationship that is going to hopefully last through the eternities. Make date night a priority, have lunch together even if its during a 30 min work break, turn off your phone at night and have fun together.
7. You are one with your partner, when they are happy or sad you feel those emotions with empathy. You feel what they're feeling almost as if you were experiencing it too. This gem is brought to you by my wise and amazing sister.
8. Decisions usually turn out the best when they are based on what right for the marriage, the relationship and the couple, rather than what "makes sense" to others or is convenient.
9. Don't let other peoples advice or opinions taint your own experiences. In your relationship YOUR experiences are the only ones that are valid, although others experiences and advice may be useful to you, don't take it as a one size fits all. Relationships are all different and no one else has a personal view of yours.
10. HAVE FUN. Fun is honestly the most important part in the relationship. I know when Blake and I have moments where we laugh and joke, our problems and stress seem to vanish (almost ;)). Make moments to have fun and do childish things together.